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Here's the latest poll of household 6-year-olds, Dad. An overwhelming majority expressed amazement at how little you've accomplished as Dad so far. The impression is that you're avoiding all the hard decisions that need to be made. In fact, none of those polled could name a single instance of true paternal leadership. How about if I lead you upstairs to your bed? Ha ha. If we can be serious for a moment, I have some innovative ideas about my allowance. Calvin has the latest poll results. An overwhelming majority are amazed at how little he's accomplished. The impression is that he's avoiding all the hard decisions that need to be made. No one polled could name a single instance of paternal leadership.
Dad asks if he can lead Calvin to bed. Calvin replies he has some innovative ideas for his allowance.