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HEY, CALVIN! Are we near a slaughterhouse, or did you forget your deodorant?! DROP DEAD, SUSIE! You're so ugly, I hear your
Mom puts a bag over your head before she kisses you goodnight!! It's shameless, the way we flirt. What's it like to fall in love? Well... say the object of your affection walks by... Yeah? First your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation short circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves. THAT'S love?!? Medically speaking. Heck, that happened to ME once, but I figured it was COOTIES!! Spaceman Spiff lands on Planet Gorzarg-5. He sets off across the desolate terrain in search of help. In the distance, methane clouds rain sodium hydroxide, a caustic alkali. The downpour was too heavy for the ground to absorb. A steaming river of corrosive liquid rushes toward our hero. Spiff scrambles to higher ground, but the flood continues to rise. Our hero is trapped. How could things get worse? Calvin is leaning across the bathtub as Mom tells him to just get in.