Show transcript
I'm ready for bed, Dad. What's tonight's story going to be? Here's one, 'Readings on Dialectical Metaphysics.' You'll love it. Forget it Dad. You can't get me to drop off that easy. Will you read us this story? Hobbes wrote it himself. Hobbes wrote it, huh? 'Goldilocks and the three tigers.' Oh boy, this is gonna be great! 'Once upon a time there lived a young girl named Goldilocks. She went into the forest and saw a cottage. No one was home so she went in. Inside she saw three bowls of porridge. A big bowl, a medium bowl, and a small bowl. She was just about to taste the porridge when the three tigers came home. They quickly divided Goldilocks into big, medium, and small pieces and dunked them in the porridge that ...' Calvin, I'm not going to finish this! This is disgusting!! I don't know why I let you talk to me into this. Good night! Click. He didn't even look at our illustrations. Now I'm all hungry. Calvin's dinner grabs his drink and splashes him with it. While Calvin coughs, the dinner jumps up from its plate and hits Calvin in the face. He chases and grabs the dinner.
Mom sees him on the table, food in hand, with cups and bowls scattered on the table. Mom clenches her teeth in anger. Calvin places an emergency call to the local Navy recruitment office.