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"I'm ready for bed, Dad. What's tonight's story going to be? Here's one, 'Readings on Dialectical Metaphysics.' You'll love it. Forget it Dad. You can't get me to drop off that easy. Will you read us this story? Hobbes wrote it himself. Hobbes wrote it, huh? 'Goldilocks and the three tigers.' Oh boy, this is gonna be great! 'Once upon a time there lived a young girl named Goldilocks. She went into the forest and saw a cottage. No one was home so she went in. Inside she saw three bowls of porridge. A big bowl, a medium bowl, and a small bowl. She was just about to taste the porridge when the three tigers came home. They quickly divided Goldilocks into big, medium, and small pieces and dunked them in the porridge that ...' Calvin, I'm not going to finish this! This is disgusting!! I don't know why I let you talk to me into this. Good night! Click. He didn't even look at our illustrations. Now I'm all hungry. Calvin asks Dad to read a story Hobbes wrote, 'Goldilocks and the Three Tigers'. Dad reads that Goldilocks walks in the forest, sees the house, goes into the house, sees the porridge in three bowls. Then the three tigers come home, divide Goldilocks into three parts, and dunk her in the porridge. Dad is disgusted by the story and refuses to continue. He says 'Good night'. Calvin laments he didn't even look at the illustrations. Hobbes complains about now being hungry."