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'"Once upon a time there was...' Hold it. This story doesn't have any shoot-ups in it, does it? You mean guns? No. Any violence at all? Um... not really. Any references to satanism? Any profanity? Any car chases? Any lewd parts? Of course not! What makes you think I'll like this?
Dad starts reading a bedtime story. Calvin asks if the story has any shoot-ups in it. Dad says no. Calvin asks if it has any violence at all. Dad says of course not. Calvin asks Dad why he thinks Calvin will like the story."